So I know that I am SOO late in posting. I’ve neglected it horribly. Sorry. Can you forgive me? Ok good!
Now down to catching you up on why I’ve been behind in posting, oh ad give you a weight update. I’m sure you want to know that too. Here it is! Ladies and Gentlemen I am officially less than 300LBS!! I weigh a lovely 297 LBS!!!! I cannot remember the last time I weighed less than 300. Seriously, for my wedding 4 years ago I was 355. And now I am 297! HOLY CRAP! I looked at a picture of me taken while I was on vacation last week and one from my honeymoon and I barely recognized me. I couldn’t believe it. I’ve seen the change on me daily but seeing it in pictures was startling. I can’t believe that was me. It makes me see how much my body has changed, and not just my face looking slimmer.
Other things are changing too. My hair is thinning. I knew it could happen. I never knew how much it would affect me. I have realized that I am vain. I love me hair. Being a bigger person there aren’t too many aspects about your body that you are too proud of. Everything sags, flabs, or bulges. Your arms aren’t supposed to shake when you wave, your thighs shouldn’t rub, your butt shouldn’t jiggle. But mine do. So one of my best features that I took pride in was and is my hair. I love changing it. Doing different things with it. Most people get tattoos, I dye my hair blue. Two reasons for that, one hair dye is not permanent and two if I were to get a tattoo of a butterfly it would end up looking like a condor in no time on me.
So I’m losing my hair. I am trying to not get emotional about it but its hard. I mean I’m losing it because of a choice that I made not because I had to get chemo. I feel petty that I am get emotional over it. My mom lost her hair when she underwent chemo, and I can only imagine how heart broken she felt. I don’t feel like I have a right to get upset about my hair thinning when it is a direct result of a choice that I made. Others like my mom didn’t and don’t have a choice. So then I feel stupid for getting upset. Maybe I am over thinking things an being overly sensitive. Anyhow…
I met with a lady that does hair weaves today to see what I could do to help cover up the thinning hair. I know, I know… hair weaves? Well, I can get them and it would help. I’m scheduled to get them this weekend. Needless to say I am very nervous about this. What if it looks HORRIBLE? What if I don’t like it? What if it doesn’t help? I’m excited about it too. Maybe it will help and look GREAT. Maybe when I run my fingers through my hair I won’t pull out loads of my hair.
When I see you all out and about I get asked “how are you feeling?” For the most part I feel great! I have more energy. I can do things like I used to do, my favorites being that I am really able to get down and play with my son without getting uncomfortable because of my girth. I need to watch what I eat and drink. If I do not drink enough I can tell when I am dehydrated. And if I am not eating properly I do get a little faint. On vacation there were a couple days where it was really hard to eat properly. Mainly, finding something that wasn’t covered in breading and fried. I’ve discovered that fried foods just don’t set as well as I would like them too. Plus they don’t taste as good as I remembered. Anyhow, on the days that I didn’t get to eat so well I tried to make up for it by eating some protein bars but I still felt very weak and faint. Once I was able to start eating and drinking better it wasn’t an issue. I’m really starting to read my body and its cues. All in all, I feel great!
I promise next time I won’t leave you hanging for so long. I’ve got some thoughts pinging around in my mind that I need to get out. Not quite sure how to express it though. You might just read a rant that makes no sense what so ever but hey, its my blog.
Until next time…
Whoo hoo! I am so excited for you! You look great!
He-eeeyyy! Girl, was that YOUR weave? It was tight!
Seriously, though, you are looking great and I am proud of you for having the strength to change almost everything in your life so that you can be healthier and live longer.
Because let’s be honest…there are many more movies for us to mock together!