Month 5 Weigh In! October 25, 2010

So I’ve lost a pregnant Nicole Ritchie.  That’s right ya’ll I’m down a WHOPPING 101 LBS!  For those with offensive eyes, avert cause all I keep screaming in my head is “SUCK IT BITCHES!”  Not that I’m saying that to anyone in particular but just saying it.  Its my oh yeah I did it scream.  I am down to 284 lbs.  I’m like, well hello hip bone.  I forgot all about you.  Or howdy collar bone, thought you moved away.

But I have to say my sheer moment of bliss came when I went to the store to finally give in and buy a new pair of jeans that didn’t keep falling down.  I walked in and the nice salegal asked what I was looking for.  I told her just jeans.  Do you know what size you are, she asked.  Not really, losing weight.  Hmm well you look like a size 22.  That did it for me.  As soon as the 22 left her lips I hugged her.  Literally.  Kinda startled her.  Told her my last pair of jeans was a 28 and my last pair of khakis was a 30 so a 22 was like telling me I won an emmy.  I don’t know how I’m going to react once I am no longer a plus size.  Probably get a billboard on 75 and advertise my skinny self.  Another awesome thing happened that shopping day.  I bought a winter coat.  It was a size 18/20.  That’s right folks, smaller on top, arent we all?  Hips.  They never shrink.  Anyhow back to the coat.  Wanna guess the size of my last winter coat?  WRONG!  My last winter coat was a size 30.  I don’t feel like a HUGE monster wearing a blanket that zips in this coat.  I feel like you can actually see a somewhat figure!

The down side to all this glorious weight loss, and yes there is a down side.  Is that some of my mentality hasn’t changed.  It’s happened so fast.  Its hard to not still think that I am as large as I was.  I can see the changes and I can feel them its just that I’ve always been larger.  The chubby one.  Even when I was a healthy weight for me I was still larger than my friends.  I have always felt  fat.  And of course fat relates to unattractive.  While this whole journey isn’t to boost my self esteem.  Totally not.  But that is a side effect of this.  I’m happy.  I think I look better but still, there are times when I can’t shake the mental 101 lbs that I’ve lost physically.

Its like when a thrifty person comes into a windfall of money. They aren’t going to start suddenly stop cutting coupons just because they have a bigger bank account.  Nor are they going to buy a million dollar yatch.  That’s not how they think.  That’s kinda what I am feeling.  Being thin is not how I think.  I’ve always have been proud of my curves and supported larger actresses and models for making being bigger not such a bad thing.  I know I will still support them even after I’m no longer a plus size but will it look condescending to someone who doesn’t know that I used to be large?  I don’t know.   Its all new and changing quickly.

Oh well.  The other thing that’s gonna change is my workouts.  I haven’t been able to go swimming due to weather but that’s ok.  I am ready to go to the gym.  I need to start working on toning and building muscle.  Now that I am at a weight where it won’t be so uncomfortable for me to do all those strange and torture looking machines I’m pretty excited.  Even looking into getting a personal trainer every month or so to make sure I am on the right track.  The biggest complication is getting someone to watch Gideon while I work out.  Be praying about that for me.  I really want to do it, but it won’t happen if he cries like someone is poking him in the eye for an hour.  And yes, he can and has cried like that for that long.  Kids got skill.

 

 

Advertisement